Episode 44: Beer In The Street, Big Hair, The Two J’s and Maybe The Worst Beer Ever

In order to get 15 beers to five people in three states, some sacrifices had to be made. In this episode, carbonation was offered up to the beer gods in red, plastic-wrapped mason jars at the alter of craft brewers with the mind-numbing words from the band that ended the idiotic big hair era, “ I mixed up the batter and she licked the beater.” That’s right. Warrant. So, enter this episode at your own risk. There is much to fear, with additional guest stars Bruce Jenner, the Village People and a professional tennis player to be named later. Bob Moffitt, Chris Knapp, Dan Scott, Glenn Crim, Joey Gonzalez and Jorge Oseguera host. CLICK HERE to hear the podcast.

Brasseurs Sans Gluten “Glutenberg” Gluten-free American 5% abv

Dan: Gluten-free beer is prone to weirdness. For a gluten-free beer, this is FAIR. For all stouts, it’s a CAT, which means there are some gluten-free beer that are actually worse. Who’s up for a Steve Guttenberg musical?

Bob: The Steve Guttenberg poster over Dan’s bed is his touchstone. I was expecting something gross. This was really enjoyable. EXCELLENT. “Do the shake” by Village People? Not so much.

Jorge: It smells pretty good but it disappoints. Poor. I’ll blame a little on Bob. POOR

Joey: No flavor. Misses everything. POOR

Glenn: Actually, too many flavors. It’s all over the place. FAIR

Chris: I like buckwheat pancakes. This is pretty decent. FAIR/GOOD

Full Circle “Chinatown Undergrounds” Coffee 6.7% abv

Bob: Vanilla? Sweet. VERY GOOD/EXCELLENT. Only the aftertaste brings it down.

Joey: I’m getting coffee. Flavorful. VERY GOOD. Thanks to Mrs. Moffitt for the jars.

Jorge: Tobacco? Balanced. I can dance to it. I give it an eight, Dick. Oh. GOOD/VERY GOOD

Dan: FAIR. Smells wonderful but tastes too bitter.

Chris: Delivers coffee and vanilla. GOOD

Glenn: Dig the label. VERY GOOD.

Hoof Hearted Brewing “BellOQ” Vanilla and Coffee 7.5% abv

Bob: Coincidence that Rene Belloq was the antagonist in Raiders of the Lost Ark? What that has to do with tennis player socks and a stout. FAIR.

Jorge: It’s not that bad. GOOD

Joey: Who’s on the can? I don’t care as long as there’s coffee. I blame Bob for the taste. FAIR.

Dan: FAIR. Don’t like the aftertaste. One note.

Glenn: Very underwhelming. FAIR. I’d buy more just to share the can.

The Bruery “Bakery Cherry Pie” Dessert 10.2% abv

Bob: This is as bad if not worse than the band Warrant. I think I just got hit in the face with something spandex. I appreciate the effort. Could appearance on the podcast by Bobbie Brown make this better? CAT

Jorge: Overpowering. POOR. They hit the cherry bomb.

Joey: My face has never made these contortions. It’s as bad as cherries jubilee. There’s nothing enjoyable here. CAT.

Dan: I don’t get anything stout about this. Cherry bourbon chocolate mess. I kind of like it though.. (GOOD beer + POOR stout) /2 = FAIR)

Knapp: It delivers what it promises. FAIR/GOOD. If you want bourbon and cherries this is all you.

Glenn: I think an angry person made this. This is 2020 personified. CAT

The Bruery “Bakery Oatmeal Cookie Dessert 10.2% abv

Bob: Raisins and granola and oatmeal cookie are promised. God how I don’t like either. Super sweet. FAIR/POOR but that doesn’t mean that we don’t love the Bruery for challenging the norm.

Jorge: I’m getting some booze. I like it. GOOD

Dan: The Bruery is not afraid to kick you in the nuts. VERY GOOD

Joey: I got cinnamon. A little syrupy. VERY GOOD

Knapp: Sweetness offsets the heat of the bourbon

Glenn: Delivers as promised. Kind of a holiday feel. GOOD